Everything I share here comes straight from my lived experience—both personal and professional. These are my reflections, perceptions, and insights shaped by years of doing the work, feeling the feels, and navigating the messy, beautiful complexity of healing and growth. It’s not gospel, it’s not universal truth—it’s just the shit I’ve found useful, meaningful, and worth passing on. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.
Therapy Thoughts…
November 2025
How Does This Serve You?
In honor of Thanksgiving- let’s use this question as our pun. How does this serve you?
From a therapeutic standpoint, this question generally invites someone to pause and examine whether a thought, behavior, or emotional pattern is actually supporting their well-being.
A simple but powerful question I often pose in session to encourage reflection-a simple consideration we don’t give ourselves.
Clinically the phrase helps a person shift from automatic response to reflective awareness. It encourages them to evaluate the function of a belief or reaction
Is it protecting me?
Is it guiding me?
Or, is it just adding unnecessary mental clutter- like saving every leftover container “just in case”?
During the season centered around gratitude and evaluating what truly nourishes us emotionally (and on our plates), this question becomes even more powerful. It’s a reminder to notice what’s feeding you and what might be draining you- because not everything deserves a seat at your internal Thanksgiving table.
So when a worry pops up, or an unhelpful pattern resurfaces, ask yourself “how does this serve me”, and if the answer is
“it doesn’t”- feel free to send it home with a polite slice of pumpkin pie and a gentle goodbye.
October, 2025
Don’t “should” on yourself.
If I had a nickel for every time I reminded someone of this.
“I shouldn’t think this way”. “I know I should be more grateful…”. And on and on. The sneaky little imp-how you should feel, how you should heal, how you should parent, work, love, breathe, hydrate, and apparently journal your way to enlightenment before breakfast.
But here’s the thing: “should” is often just shame dressed up as self-improvement. It’s a guilt trip with a motivational quote slapped on top. And it’s exhausting. We say we “should” be a certain way because we’ve absorbed a thousand silent rules from culture, family, capitalism, and that one wellness influencer who swears celery juice cured their anxiety. But chasing “should” keeps us stuck in performance mode—disconnected from what actually feels true, useful, or alive.
So yeah, it’s time to stop. Not because you’re broken, but because you’re done playing someone else’s game. You don’t need to be perfect. You need to be real. So, stop “shoulding” on yourself!!